I don’t want to go

I’m leaving for Italy on Friday and all of a sudden I am terrified.

I was fine until last night when the teacher who will be my mentor in Italy popped up on facebook chat and began talking to me.

She told me that she was unable to pick me up from the airport because of the time, but she’d give me the address so that I can get a taxi. That was fine, it’s not here fault.

Then she asked me if I want to meet up with her on either Friday or Saturday.

I said Saturday would be best because I expect I’ll be in a state of shock on Friday.

“Why? What shock?” she asks!

I then tried to explain to her that it’s going to be big culture shock moving from Germany to Italy and of course I’m going to be upset after leaving my friends, but she didn’t understand. She thought I meant that I had an awful time here in Germany and I was expecting to have an equally awful time there.

Now I’m terrified that when I get to Italy the same is going to happen. I’m going to say something and they are going to turn it around and get offended. My friend managed to make her mentor hate her and I’m pretty sure it was the same type of misunderstanding. I don’t know if I could handle that. I want to be able to talk openly about my problems, not pretend everything is peachy.

I’m not looking forward to Friday at all. I just hope that there is wireless internet in the house that I’m staying in so that I can skype and blog. Without it I think I might go crazy or breakdown, especially if I have to keep all of my negative feelings to myself.