LDR: Long distance relationships on your year abroad

Everyone gets home sick on their year abroad, I know a thing or two about THAT, but what makes it more extreme is knowing that you’ve left part of you at home.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three and a half years now. I never wanted to have a long distance relationship, in fact I was always a sceptic when it came to them. I didn’t believe that two people could stay faithful to each other when the temptation to cheat and not get found out was starring you in the face. But here I am, stuck in a long distance relationship, until I go back home in July.

The hard times

It’s definitely not easy being apart for so long. Some days are worse than others. At the moment I’m struggling because there is so much beauty in this country and so many wonderful things are happening to me and all i want to do is share it all with him. It at times like this when I begin to feel incomplete.

It’s also difficult at the moment because he is too busy to talk. Skype is a wondrous creation. I love coming home in the evening and telling him everything I’ve done. It’s almost as if he’s here with me. But he’s in his last year of university now, and there are a lot of deadlines coming up. He’s in the library most evenings and we can go for days without talking. I admit I get angry sometimes. I blame him for not having started his workload sooner. I tell him he is a bad boyfriend and that if he loved me then he’d MAKE time to talk to me. I never mean any of these things and I know it is wrong for me to blame him for concentrating on what is important.

This leads me onto my next point. Our emotions become so exaggerated with the distance and time apart. We argue a lot more and it’s always a lot more heated and angrier than when we argue at home. Being able to hang up and turn off the computer and mobile during an argument does not help to settle the matter.

Good times

I think my positive view of this LDR is that I see it as a test to see if our relationship really is the real deal. In a few years time we are going to be entering very important stages in our lives where the question of marriage may come into play. I think that if we can survive this and it is a good sign that we are meant to be together. Missing each other to the extreme of tears, although I hate it, is a good sign that we are still very much in love with each other.

Cheating really isn’t a worry for me. I trust him 150%. I know you are probably thinking “yeah, yeah everyone says that” but I do. I know that a lot of people break up with their partner before the year abroad so that they can have “a bit more fun” and I have also seen a fair few people, who are still in relationships, playing the field here in Germany; but none of that interests me. I admit that sometimes when I’m out at a party and I see people getting together I get jealous and I wish it was me. But here’s the important bit, I wish it was me and my boyfriend.

Although I miss him, I must admit that it is good to have some time to myself. I depend on him a lot back home. We go to university in the same city and basically live inside each other’s pockets. By living without him I’ve finally had that push to grow up, fend for myself, be independent and so on. I’ve even killed a few spiders by myself. I’m coming up for 21 now and I think it is about time that I learn to stand on my own two feet. Am I worried that I’m going to come back to the UK as the Destiny’s Child like “Independent Woman”, haha no.

I know that this post is probably cheesy. You are probably reading it thinking “get a room” (something I think on a daily basis with all of these German public displays of affection). However I know that this is an issue with does worry a lot of people in the build up to their year abroad so I hope it helps. Writing this has definitely helped me, it’s been a hard week this week but reminding myself of the positive aspects has returned me to my cheerful self.