Today I haven't quite been myself. My boyfriend went back to the UK yesterday and I've found it hard to be alone again. But something happened today, just about an hour ago, that really made me realise how lucky I am, and how I really have very little reason to be "depressed".
Today an a girl I know, she's a friend of a friend...well she was riding on the same bus as me. Me and my friend went over to sit with her and her friends (sorry for the repetition of the f word, I'm still a little shakey from all this). Well the girl received a phone call, we didn't think anything of it, we carried on talking. Then we noticed her voice had gone odd, we looked over and her mouth was wide open. She burst into tears and cried "my brother is dead". We all went white. I almost started crying myself.
Her Brother had been in some sort of accident before Christmas, but everything was looking up. He had moved back home and was making tonnes of progress. She wasn't expecting him to....die...not now. I wanted to say something, I wanted to hug her, I wanted to tell her it was all a lie and that of course he's fine.
I can still hear her begging "daddy this isn't real is it?"
I feel so selfish, for my behaviour today. Everyone I love, although they are not here with me in Germany, are still here for me. For that I should be grateful. And I truly am. I do not know what real lose feels like. I wish this was all a nightmare, for her sake. She's such a lovely girl, she didn't deserve this. Not now, not when she is so far away from home. All of my thoughts right now are with her and her family, and I ask dear readers that yours are too.
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